This week’s countdown: Kalle Oakes, who continues to mourn the loss of Jay-Livermore Falls, drowns his sorrows by ranking the top five football rivalries we have left:

5. Mountain Valley-Cape Elizabeth. I hate to admit it, but in a state full of dead and dormant rivalries, those rascally Capers and their cameras made this a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rivals of convenience, yes, but rivals indeed. They usually play twice a year. The hitting is brutal. And Cape has beaten MV three times since 2007, which is three times more often than just about everybody else.

4. Cony-Gardiner. This one’s on the critical list after more than a century. Until the MPA adds that fourth class that football so desperately needs, the Rams-Tigers rivalry exists only as a preseason exhibition … and several thousand people wouldn’t miss it for the world.

3. Lewiston-Edward Little. Sorry, my local friends, but proximity and longevity don’t automatically make a great rivalry. Devils-Eddies is a very good one. But great rivalries captivate even casual fans. Twice in the past nine years, these two schools have met in the playoffs. And there was plenty of parking space available.

2. Thornton-Biddeford. Yes, I know the Tigers stink right now. But when both these teams are good at the same time, there’s nothing bigger or better. According to urban legend, the 50/50 winner at an early 1990s TA-BHS game took home $7,000. That’s all I need to know.

1. Portland-Deering. I’m putting this one at the head of the class reluctantly and begrudgingly, because I know I’ll lose credibility with our smattering of southern readers if I don’t. What bugs me about conceding this as the be-all, end-all rivalry is that Portland just played South Portland in their so-called Battle of the Bridge. And until John Wolfgram retires, Cheverus is the best team in that city. I guess the Bulldogs and Rams get the nod for their one-of-a-kind-in-these-parts Thanksgiving Day feast. But I hate myself for saying so.