A young intern named Russell Nelson was assisting a surgeon in amputating a leg filled with gangrene.

There are a number of types of gangrene. This one was called gas gangrene. Because of its ability to quickly spread to surrounding tissues, gas gangrene is treated as a medical emergency.

It was a difficult operation and not going well. The operating room was very tense. Then one of the team didn’t do a procedure properly. The surgeon exploded with anger and started yelling insults at the person. In the middle of his temper tantrum, the surgeon either threw or lost control of his scalpel. The blade, loaded with deadly infection, stuck in Russell Nelson’s forearm.

Fortunately, the infection didn’t spread to the young intern. But this experience had a profound effect on him. He promised himself that when he became a surgeon, no matter what happened in his operating room, he would never lose control of his emotions. And he vowed that he would never throw anything in anger. Not a scalpel. Not even an unkind word.

Russell Nelson went on to become a world-renowned heart surgeon.

One time in the middle of a major operation – surgery to bypass obstructions in four arteries – things suddenly went wrong. The patient’s blood pressure dropped, which was serious. Dr. Nelson stopped operating and concentrated on figuring out what caused the problem.

An assistant had made a mistake, removing a clamp that should have stayed in place. Once the problem was identified, the clamp was reapplied. Soon the patient’s blood pressure returned to an acceptable level.

The person who had removed the clamp and caused a life-threatening situation thought that Dr. Nelson was going to be angry, but he wasn’t. He said to the team member, “I still love you.” Then smiled and joked, “But sometimes I love you more than other times.”

The operation continued with no further problems.

And so it was, because Dr. Nelson had decided to never lose control of his emotions in an operating room, he didn’t. He was able to handle the situation with the gentlest of rebukes.

This story shows that we have control over our tempers. Some people try to excuse unkind behavior by saying things like “I couldn’t help it, he made me so angry.” Or “I couldn’t help it, that’s just the way I am.” Or “I couldn’t help it, that’s the way I was brought up.”

Nonsense. No one has the power to make us angry. It’s our choice. If need be, we can change the way we are. And if need be, we can overcome how we were brought up.

In these troubled times, it’s easy to think that nothing matters. It’s fine to trounce some troll (or even some well-intentioned person) online. It’s fine to give a prolonged honk and rude gesture to a hesitant driver. It’s fine to be unkind.

It’s not fine. And it does matter. Unkindness is like gas gangrene, able to quickly spread to surrounding tissues, making troubled times more troubling.