FAYETTE — At this month’s All Age Friendly Muffin Monday, May 19, meeting, Fayette resident, past Fayette Planning Board member and elder law attorney Jed Davis gave a detailed overview of tools to help older adults manage their estates and minimize family conflict.

Speaking at Starling Hall, Davis focused on the use of living trusts, irrevocable trusts, and Maine’s relatively new transfer on death deeds.

“If you have more than one kid and leave property to more than one kid, you’re in trouble,” Davis said. “If one of the kids thinks a new roof is needed and the other doesn’t agree, how do they resolve the dispute? Court?”

He advised that real property, such as a home, often becomes the most complicated part of an estate. A trust can help avoid probate, reduce costs, and clarify how assets are to be managed and distributed.

“Going through probate court is expensive and time consuming,” Davis said. “You can control everything if you put it in the trust.”

Davis explained that a revocable trust allows the person creating it to remain in control during their lifetime. “You can end the trust at any time,” he said. “But you designate somebody to take over when you’re gone.”

He shared that he placed his own home in a trust, choosing a younger cousin, outside the immediate family, to serve as trustee. “It is very unwise to name one of your children as a trustee,” he said. “If you have someone else, then the kids can get angry at that person and not destroy the family.”

He also discussed irrevocable trusts, noting their use in Medicaid planning. “The only reason to set up an irrevocable trust in your lifetime is so you can qualify for Medicaid,” Davis said. “You give away an asset and put it in an irrevocable trust, you have no control over it and you can’t benefit from it.”

To mitigate the risk, he said, people often name their children as beneficiaries and “trust that they will use the money for you.” But he warned, “I have too many cases where the relationship between parent and child isn’t working anymore.”

Maine’s adoption of the transfer on death deed was another key point. “That can be very good,” Davis said. “You execute the deed now, but it takes effect when you die. In your lifetime you can revoke the deed.”

When asked whether existing debts such as a mortgage transfer with the property, Davis answered “yes.”

Davis also fielded questions about naming co-owners on vehicles and boats, which he confirmed can be a simple alternative to transferring ownership through probate. “Yes, you can do that,” he said.

Throughout the session, Davis emphasized one core message: advance planning is the best gift to leave loved ones. “What I really urge people to seriously consider is a revocable, during-lifetime trust,” he said. “It lets you stay in control and helps avoid family conflict.”