In my 35-year career as a business lawyer in Maine, I’ve been chair of the Business Law Section of the Maine State Bar Association, chair of the Maine Justice Foundation, president of the South Freeport Church and a Little League coach. My wife, now retired, spent more than three decades as a public school teacher.

But I write today as the proud father of a transgender woman.

Three and a half years ago, when she came out and transitioned, I was surprised. It took time to adjust. I had to let go of one future I had imagined and open my heart to a new and mysterious one.

I was worried. About her safety, her happiness, and about whether I had missed signs earlier in her life that might have helped me support her better. Should I have seen something when she developed a pronounced tic? When she began pulling out her own hair? During the years of quiet struggle that started in high school and deepened after college?

I know my daughter didn’t “choose” her gender for attention or some sports advantage. As a teenager she was a lot like I and many others were, wanting desperately to fit in but not sure how, except she carried an invisible weight, questioning her gender identity in a society that was hostile to gay and transgender people.

It has been a great joy watching her flourish since she transitioned. She is more confident and joyful. The same person at her core, but more fully herself. I’ve watched her regain the leadership and spark she showed as a child. She laughs with my wife as they shop for clothes or jewelry, connect as peers and share their lives in ways they couldn’t before.

She is still at home swinging a hammer or climbing scaffolding at work. The time she and I spend together, hiking, playing music, or simply talking, is more open, honest and loving than ever. She finds herself happier doing everything in her life and closer to everyone she loves than she was before.

I’m not a biologist or a neuroscientist. Most of us aren’t. But I am a father. Like any parent, I know when my child is suffering and am never fully happy when that happens.

She doesn’t use public restrooms to provoke. She uses them for the same reason everyone else does. As she put it, “The issue of what bathroom to use isn’t about gender dysphoria — it’s about safety and comfort. Trans women don’t use the women’s room to affirm their womanhood. They use it because walking into the men’s room would make everyone uncomfortable, including themselves.”

And she’s right. Forcing people into bathrooms that don’t match how they look and act doesn’t promote safety or make anyone more comfortable. It isolates and endangers a minority. Think about forcing trans boys, who may look and act and be seen as male at school, being forced to use girls’ bathrooms. Humiliating for them; embarrassing for the girls.

As a lifelong athlete and former coach, I love the values of cooperation, teamwork, fair play and competition sports teach. I believe the wide participation of American kids in sports has everything to do with our international leadership in business, the arts and academia. Every American kid should have the opportunity to participate in sports and learn these skills.

Youth sports can be an emotional topic — not just when it comes to transgender issues. I believe there should be more local control and choices for families, while upholding the core value that all kids deserve the opportunity to participate without facing bullying or isolation.

We should be working to make our communities more inclusive, not less. Our schools and athletic fields should be places where every child feels safe, valued and respected. And our public policies should be grounded in dignity, not anger.

Our Legislature recognized this with its recent rejection of the slate of harmful anti-trans bills. I hope more elected officials will have the courage to do the same.

Albert Einstein is said to have said “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” My daughter is a miracle, as are all of my kids’ many nonconforming friends.

The world is full of miracles, waiting to be seen by those with open hearts, compassion and a willingness to learn. When we treat trans youth with dignity and respect, we open ourselves to a more beautiful, just and loving world.