JAY — Students at Spruce Mountain Middle School learned about bullying Friday morning, Dec. 13, from someone who was bullied at their age.

Jason Tardy, who grew up in Buckfield shared how he was bullied because of his desire to be a juggler and performer. He chose to stand up to those bullying him and now uses his experiences in a juggling show called Stand Up, Stand Out to encourage young people to become “upstanders” towards bullying.

“Acting like you care is a very important life lesson to learn,” Tardy said at the beginning of his presentation. “Especially when you get married.”

Tardy said it took many years of practice and no social life to be able to perform his high-energy show of “juggling like you have never seen before. The more energy you have, the more energy I will have,” he noted.

Jugglers use juggling clubs [shaped like bowling pins] made for juggling that are well balanced, have long handles and weigh about half a pound each, Tardy explained. “Bowling pins have no balance, a short handle and weigh four pounds each,” he stated. He holds world records for the length of time he has juggled various items, he said.

DJ Walker, an 11-year old sixth grade student who recently moved to this area from South Carolina was chosen by Tardy to help with his next act: juggling three 10-pound bowling balls. Tardy explained starting this juggling feat is nearly impossible, so he designed a system using a holder, rope and small trampoline to help get the third ball airborne. “You are going to help me start it,” he said. DJ pulled the rope sending the bowling ball onto the trampoline which sent the ball upward for Tardy to complete the three-ball juggling act.

“This is an antibullying assembly,” Tardy said afterwards. “When I was about your age, in middle school I decided I wanted to be a professional juggler. I met a professional juggler. I grew up in a small town not far from here called Buckfield. A lot of people around me were like, ‘you want to be a juggler? That’s impossible.’ I had friends of mine say that. I also had friends who bullied me. They made fun of me, took my stuff, pushed me around.”

There are two things that make a situation bullying, Tardy said. First, bullies choose a specific target, use a pattern that happens over and over again, Tardy explained. “Secondly, one person thinks he has more power than the other and uses that power over another person,” he said.

“This show wouldn’t happen if I had given in to those bullies, had given up,” Tardy noted. “I stood up to them. This is the only job I have ever had. I have been doing this for 30 years.”

The hours he puts into juggling is a symbol of his overcoming bullying, Tardy said.

There are four kinds of bystanders or people who witness bullying, Tardy stated before listing them:

1. Reinforcer – Someone who laughs at a bully’s actions, makes the bully think it is okay to continue doing similar things.

2. Assistant – Someone who helps the bully, doesn’t let the person being bullied get away.

3. Outsider – Someone who doesn’t want to get involved. “If you do nothing you are making the bullying worse,” Tardy explained. “In the head of the person doing the bullying, they think others don’t care, it is not that bad.”

4. Upstander – Someone who stands up, stands out and does something positive to help the situation.

Tardy shared several ways to be an upstander.

Those who are introverted can tell a teacher  or adult, Tardy noted. “Bullying is serious,” he stated. “The person being bullied needs help. It helps the bully too. Bullies are not very happy people. If they get into trouble, they may learn from it and learn from their mistakes.”

A second way is to tell the bully to stop, Tardy said. “Don’t yell or scream, that makes it worse. Stay super calm and stay casual, say “that is not okay.” If you ask a bully to stop and he ignores you, by saying something at least you are showing you are not okay with what they are doing. Go get a teacher.”

Questioning what the bully is doing is a third way, Tardy noted. “Bullies get stuck in a pattern, may not know what they are doing,” he said. Asking why the bully is doing something may break the pattern, he explained.

A fourth option is to distract the bully, take their focus off the other person, Tardy said.

The fifth way is to remove the person being bullied, walk them to a safe place where the balance of power is changed, he noted.

Kids have more power to stop bullying, Tardy said. He hoped the next time someone sees someone being bullied that they do something to help stop it.

Tardy said he knew those bullying him didn’t know what they were talking about. “I stayed and didn’t get upset,” he noted. “They want you to cry, get upset. They would call me a terrible name and I would agree with them. They didn’t know what to do. It is really important to stay calm.”

There are times when you do need to get an adult when being bullied, Tardy said. “Bullies need to suffer the consequences of their bad actions,” he noted. “You are not the one with the problem.”

It has been proven that fighting back with a bully makes it worse 99.9% of the time, Tardy stated. If assaulted get out of there, being aggressive makes it worse, he said. Go to the cafeteria, find a way to separate from the bully, stay with someone or near a teacher, he shared. “It breaks the pattern of bullying,” he noted.

It is important to talk with someone if one is having bad feelings about themselves due to bullying, Tardy stressed. “If you get counselling you are emotionally intelligent, know you need help,” he said. “Mental health is important. If you leave bad feelings inside it can lead to bad things.”

Tardy juggled with pins, balls and rings. He juggled on and through a step ladder, then straightened it before balancing the 30-pound ladder on his chin. He also juggled two pins and a tennis racket from which the netting had been removed before continuing to juggle the pins while working the racket from the top of his head, over his body and off it.

“You are the ones who have the biggest role,” Tardy stressed. “You have the most power. Do something if you see bullying. Reach out. Help each other. I hope you will stand up, stand out against bullying.”

Later Tardy shared his message with students at the elementary school.