It is difficult to find the words to express how I feel about the shocking assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk, except to state that my view of America is not shaken — and, despite what Utah Gov. Spencer Cox recently said, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me.

I’ve appreciated Cox’s steady leadership during this time as the governor of the state where this horrific crime occurred. Unlike our many politicians on both sides of the aisle, he’s called for unity and a reassessment of the national political environment in a measured, reasonable way. In Congress, they couldn’t even manage to hold a prayer for Charlie Kirk without it devolving into a political confrontation, let alone issue a joint bipartisan statement.

My view of America as a whole isn’t shaken, though: it’s my view of certain people, and our political leadership, that’s been shaken. The sad truth of the matter is that political violence has been uncommon in the United States, but hardly unheard of. There have been rebellions, wars, terrorist attacks, lynchings and assassinations throughout American history. It’s tempting to say that we’re living through uniquely divided and violent times, but that’s not really true. They’re just more divided and violent than most of us remember personally — or, at least, care to remember.

That’s not to downplay the enormity, nor the heinousness, of this particular act of political violence. It’s just that, while it was shocking and disgusting, it wasn’t new as a phenomenon in our nation’s history.

It’s also, thanks to the internet and social media, much easier for all of us to rush to judgment after a violent event. If you follow me on social media, you may have noticed that I feel no such compulsion to rush to judgment when these tragedies occur. On the occasions that I do, my first inclination is to express sympathies for the victim, whomever they may be.

My sympathies aren’t based, in any way, shape or form, on political ideology. Any attack on anyone based on their political views is equally heinous. Such violence destroys the tenets of a free, stable, democratic society. We all ought to be able to express ourselves and participate in the political process without fear of violence.

Freedom from fear of violence does not, however, equate to freedom from responsibility for what one says. The First Amendment protects you from government retribution for your speech, or from the government attempting to silence or intimidate you. You can’t be arrested merely for what you say, nor can you be fined for it, unless it meets very specific and limited circumstances in this country. It’s even extraordinarily difficult to win libel lawsuits in the United States. This isn’t true in other Western democracies. All throughout Western Europe, it’s far easier to arrest or fine people for speech alone, even if it’s nonviolent.

In the United States, however, there’s no legal definition of hate speech at all — at least not at the federal level — and one can’t be arrested for something that doesn’t exist. You may, if you wish, toss that term around as much as you like, but it doesn’t have any legal standing. Other people can say things you consider hateful without it being hate speech, just like you’re free to spew conspiracy theories or place blame on the opposite side of the political aisle if you wish. That’s all perfectly legal.

It is not, though, acceptable socially to say whatever you wish at all times. If you express an opinion that I find heinous, I have every right to stop associating with you. If you work for me, I have every right to fire you, unless your employment contract or some specific aspect of law forbids it. In fact, in a truly free society this is the best way we have to curtail heinous speech; through policing our own community rather than by government fiat.

So, please, step up and stand up for what you believe in, but do so in a responsible, respectful way, no matter what your opinions are.

We should be able to do so without fear of being arrested or killed. After a tragedy, we should all collectively try to refrain from rushing to judgment or blame, and instead try to move forward in a constructive way. We can never eliminate political violence in America, but what we can do is try to make things better when it does occur, rather than making them worse.